Hanging On & Letting Go

by | Dec 13, 2016 | Courage

“Beautiful You” when was the last time you had an internal struggle with yourself ?

You know how it goes, you just can’t decide!

Will I do this idea or that idea, or will I be better off choosing the other idea, or can I really do that, I have never tried that before, what if I fail, should I wait, or is it best to forget it, it’s a dumb idea, what will people think about me if I do it ? !

Reeling thoughts over and over and over in your mind. Hanging on to this idea, and letting go of that idea, and ending up feeling frustrated, confused, overwhelmed, and exhausted. And the worst part, doing nothing !

Have you allowed yourself to get so caught up your own thoughts and “re-actions” that you don’t decide on doing anything ? Or much worse, you allow someone to talk you out of it as you allow yourself to listen to their negative thinking and reasoning, about how you “should” be living your life.

Firstly there is no “should” in anything. The word “should” itself invokes a negative response if you don’t do what the person said you “should” do. It’s a pre-supposition that if you don’t do what they say, its wrong, which makes you wrong, which makes your life wrong, which is completely dis-empowering. Who needs that !

Saying “should” to someone is very authoritarian and negative. Replace it with you “could” do that, or I “could” do it this way. Could has a positive feeling and opens up all sorts of possibilities and is derived from the word CAN.

I think most of us can relate to that, in some capacity.

Many years ago I read a Book about the words we use in the English language that have a negative emotional response, which lead to negative impact over the course of many years if you hear it or say it regularly. In simple terms it imprints in your neurology, embedding in your brain. Should was the number 1 word that is most used. Open up your self-awareness and listen to the people around you and listen to how often you hear it ! Then ditch it, and replace it with could.

Listening to your own inner voice, or inner thoughts, inner dialogue, or connecting to spirit as some people describe it, or your gut feel or instinct, or as I prefer to call it my INTUITON is where your core truth lies. Your truest most authentic self, your higher self is another description, that’s where you will find your own answers and wisdom, and intuition in knowing what is the best and right decision for you to make and act upon, to bring forth your own joy, happiness and growth.

Holding on is believing that there is only a past: Letting go is knowing there is a future – Daphne Rose Kingma – Author

Hanging on to what other people think or expect you to do, does not, and will not give you true happiness and contentment. Do you grow as a person, if you live your life that way ? No.

Do you stay stuck in fear ? Yes.

Letting go of the expectations you have placed upon yourself, or expectations from people around you, is the most liberating feeling, when you let go of it, all of it.

Be true to yourself.

No good living a lie – Olivia Newton – John

Parents and family sometimes unintentionally, prevent us and make us feel guilty, for not doing things the way they expect you to do them. “We want you to go to University and become a Lawyer, Accountant, Army Officer” while your true self says, no way!

When I was faced with challenge after challenge in my Corporate career, and was retrenched 3 times in a row, and was feeling fed up with everything, I remember my Mother saying to me “why do you want to go and Travel, isn’t it better to find another job, you have plenty of experience”. She was always so positive in her own special way, except if it meant I would go travelling to Europe on my own!

In my heart of hearts all I wanted to do was Travel, since I was a very little girl, I wanted to see the World, as much as I could, on a big plane and go far far away. Experience other cultures and countries, beautiful buildings and Museums, History and Art, meet interesting people, eat different food and shop!

I loved my Mother deeply and I adored her, we had a beautiful relationship, bless her heart and soul, she always talked me out of doing what I really wanted to do, every time ! She would say to me “You cant travel on your own, what if something happens to you, and I would say nothing terrible will happen to me Mum, you know I am intelligent and sensible” I would get so frustrated. Years passed by, and another year and another year, and it wasn’t until my Mother passed away in 2003 that I got on a Plane and travelled to Europe on my own and travelled extensively for 3 months. I was in my element, although carrying a heavy load of grief with me.

In hindsight, my deepest wish was to Travel many years earlier than that, and of course without the grief of losing my Mother, carrying that throughout Europe as my personal baggage ! Lessons I have learned since her passing, that she would be shocked to hear.

So “Beautiful You”, don’t be like me, choose to release those shackles from your shoulders and chains around your feet and step into your own TRUE SELF your way. Make the decisions to do what you want to do in YOUR life Beautiful You and make those plans. Make it happen your way.

Without allowing other people to have a negative influence or impact in your life, and your decision making. It’s your life after all, not theirs. Stand in your true power “Beautiful You” and be yourself, your way.

Distance sometimes lets you know who’s worth keeping and who’s worth letting go – Anonymous

Hanging on and letting go, it’s a tug of war sometimes. Just like I had my own inner torment about Travelling – will I travel now, or will I stay, or will I wait. Honestly the most profound things happen when you choose to let it all go, and do things your way. I often wonder how differently my Travels would have been while I Toured across Europe, without carrying grief with me, if I had chosen to Travel to Europe prior to my Mother passing away. I often wonder how much I would have grown as a person.

Allow yourself to soar and experience greater things in your precious life, without the weight of “what will people think”. Set your boundaries with them, forgive them, love them and move on.

There is so much freedom and liberation in that.

Life is to be lived not feared.

Surrendering is when the universe opens up all sorts of possibilities and opportunities to you.

Sometimes good things fall apart – so better things can fall together – Marilyn Monroe

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